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Brother, I Can See Your Skull.

Brother, I Can See Your Skull. - The Coreyshead Blog

Lost and Foundry – Pt. 1
All Sprued Up

May 20th, 2013 by cae

pointing out the obvious in wax sprue

In the mid 90’s I found myself in a very precarious position: the husband in a married team of new parents, unexpectedly locked out of their business by their silent partners for suspicion of embezzlement.

While this presents a story all on its own, suffice it to say that our business partner’s accusations were eventually discovered to be unfounded (the butler did it) but the damage was done and, in the meantime, I needed work!

With a bright, pink, new baby at home, it was up to me to keep the money coming in – and fast! I applied at numerous places and – *gasp* – even cut my hair to take a position at one of those warehouse club places.

I hated the job, which entailed doing all the menial, goofy tasks your first-time, teenage employee would do: fetching carts, collecting empty cartons from shelves, manning the hot dog stand, bagging orders, etc. But I was doing the job at the age of 26 and after having owned my own business! It was especially pleasant for me when someone I knew came through the line. My favorite was the acquaintance (who, as it turns out, was the aforementioned butler before he was caught!) came up to me and said: “Well, look at how far you’ve risen.” Nice.

It was better than no job at all, though, and I was thankful to have it.

Still, I kept my eyes open for another job and, when a friend suggested I apply at his place of work, I jumped at the opportunity. The next thing I knew, I was filling out an application to work at a bronze-art foundry.

In the 1980′s, my hometown of Loveland, Colorado had decided to revitalize itself by becoming a center of bronze-art casting. It was a strange decision, seemingly out of the blue but better than deciding to remain a center of regional derision, I suppose. For the most part, the gambit worked. By the time I was knocking on the industry’s door for a job, there were three major foundries in town and numerous smaller studios offering full or partial casting services.

The positionI was applying for was “wax-spruer” and, well, I suppose I’d better explain the process a bit so you wont think I’m just spruing with you …

We used the “lost wax” process to cast bronze. A process with a number of reasonably simple but somewhat repetitive steps:

#1- Someone sculpts a happy, prancing pony or a gawping, large-eyed child (alternately they can sculpt something interesting that *wont* sell to the modern, discerning public) using whatever materials they wish: clay, foam, wood, wax, hamburger, wadded up art degrees, etc.

#2- Said sculpture is then molded, a process involving figuring out where the piece may need to be cut, where the halves of the mold will split, and adding any “gates” to allow for an easier flow of wax or metal when pouring. The mold is made by brushing on many layers of latex rubber, finished off by a thick coating of plaster, not unlike a cast you might wear after breaking a bone while working in a bronze art foundry.

#3- The original sculpture materials are often damaged during the molding process and discarded. The mold, however, proceeds to the wax pour room where hapless individuals wrestle it over vats of hot, liquid wax, carefully pouring in and allowing to cool layer after layer of hot wax until it builds up to a thickness strong enough to be pulled from the mold – around a sixteenth to a quarter of an inch thick.

#4- The resulting wax copy of the sculpture is now “chased,” meaning the removal of any imperfections and seam lines. There may also be reconstruction or final sculpting tweaks (either by the artist themselves or by the just-above minimum-wage chaser in case the celebrated artist wants to improve their work – I wish I was joking here).

wax sprue#5- Once the chase job has been approved by the artist, the finished wax is transported to the spruer who hacks it back into pieces once again and attaches said pieces to large cups and bars of wax, using wax “gates,” to allow not only for maximum metal flow but also survival of the shell process.

ceramic shell#6- The sprued items are now ready for shell: another layer-by-layer process involving various slurries and sand which are built up to provide a thick, heat resistant, ceramic shell. The process is one of the more difficult as the shell makes the pieces progressively more heavy and challenges the integrity of the sprue bonds. The shell crew, like wax pourers, are the unsung heroes of the foundry.

the autoclave#7- After curing, the shelled waxes are put in a large autoclave in order to melt out the victory brown wax – that’s the “lost wax” part of the process. Only, the wax is not lost. It is collected, cleaned, and reused over and over, with only a small portion of it being truly “lost” in the process.

furnace jets#8- The empty ceramic shells are fired, heated up to temperature, and – this is the part you’ve been waiting for – molten metal is poured into them. Our foundry poured silicon bronze, stainless steel, and aluminum.

shell fragments and wire in shakeout#9- Once the metal has cooled, the shell material must be blasted from the resulting bronze positive and the casting cut off from the bars, cups, and gates the spruer added.

#10- All the separate pieces, if any, must be welded back together …

#11- … and then “chased” by the metal chasers. Time for the artist to pop back into the process to approve his or her “work” (to be fair, I knew numerous artists who did much if not all of their own chasing – both in wax and metal).

applying a hot patina#12- Once the chased metal is approved by the artist, the sculpture goes to the patina department, who finish it with whatever colors and sealing it needs to begin its life as a public eyesore or private piece of art that only the artist’s parents or stoned friends will claim to understand and appreciate.

And that, in a nutshell, is the lost wax process.

I didn’t know any of this when I arrived, hat in hand, looking for work. I just knew that my friend worked there and, if he could be trusted, it was the kind of job you could show up half-crocked for – not that I wanted to do that, just that I appreciate working in a relaxed environment.

I was hired and thus began my career as a wax-spruing, foundry-rat.

victory brown head waiting in the chip boxThe primary material used for both the initial wax casting and spruing was a microcrystalline, petroleum-based wax known as “Victory Brown,” so named either because of its historical use in casting armaments or because, in the fight to get the inevitable smell and stains of it out of your clothes and hair, it remained the victor.

my second sprue-stationMy work station consisted of a stool at a steel wrapped counter, upon which sat a small metal rack with three soldering irons, a couple of wooden handled carving knives, an impromptu, wooden, gun-rack affair bookending a pile of foam pads, a large, wheeled “chip-box” full of foam packing peanuts, and two pots of different kinds of wax, which were kept up to temperature by resting on a shared griddle between my station and the next. Dangling down from the ceiling at every station and giving the place the air of a slaughterhouse, was a chain with a hook at its end, which I later learned were used to hang freshly sprued pieces for final clean-up and qc.

sealing a sprued cup in the wax vatWith these tools, plus a large, communal vat of wax and a big, heated flattening table, we went about our day cutting up sculptured wax and affixing it with bars or “gates” of wax to cups and bars.

pot of sticky wax and other tools on the griddleThe constant fumes and smoke generated by the liquid wax and the soldering irons created the necessity for a hardy air handling system. The strategically placed and flexible intake tubes throughout the room removed airborne particles and replaced them with a constant, ear-splitting roar. A small but notable percentage of the wax department used the hoses to their advantage, exhaling surreptitious lung fulls of marijuana smoke directly into the ever-sucking mouths of the hoses throughout the day.

bronze ingotsThe job was unglamorous, to say the least but featured an amazing perk (and I’m not talking about the whisking away of incidental narcotics evidence) but rather the fact that the employees were allowed to cast bronze for the cost of metal weight alone.

You had to do yourself or trade with someone for much of the rest of the process, of course, but this meant, on a piece of metal where the professional artist was paying a couple hundred dollars, you were paying around $20. Pretty incredible.

There were limits, naturally. You couldn’t glut the process with your ashtrays and gear-shift knobs, for example, but plenty of us cast at least something, many of us regularly. Why not?

As a coworker and, later, supervisor, liked to say: “Cast as much as you can while you are here because, once you’re gone, even if you managed to cast a thousand pieces, you will regret that you didn’t cast more.”  You were so right, Mike. So right it hurts.

The problem was, I had never considered myself good at art. As a matter of fact, I considered myself absolutely terrible at it. Embarrassingly so. In school, the only class I hated more than art was math … and yet I spent so much of my free time making art. I just never realized it, I guess.

Anyway, I spent the first couple months or so just learning my job as a spruer, so afraid I would be terrible at it because I had never considered myself good with my hands.

 But I wasn’t terrible at it at all. I was good at it. Fast, clean, and capable. Sure, I was doing the kind of work you can train chimps to do – and for fewer bananas – but something inside me changed when I realized I wasn’t a complete maladroit.

Further, a lot of the sculpture that was passing by me on a daily basis simply wasn’t all that good. Some was *amazing* but the rest was either just competent or worse. Add to this the fact that the bulk of my coworkers were casting, and break-time conversations were often related to art or artistic endeavors, and what you have is an incredibly motivational environment for the creative individual, which I am.

As my job took very little brain, I was left to stew in my own, creative ideas and, soon enough, began acting on them.

At first I just played with primitive blob figures – the sculpture equivalent of the stick figure – and told myself and others that I wanted them to appear primitive but the truth was I was too afraid and lazy to try my hand at anything too fine for fear of failure and its attendant ridicule. I’m not terribly proud of these – but I don’t hate them, either. Okay: what else you got?

Ceremony - candleholderGo On - paperweightGive Up - paperweightGreen Man

a lump I retained for some unfathomable reasonPart of spruing involved packing maleable wads of wax around the gates where they connected to the piece. Warm and soft, the half-melted victory brown was a tactile pleasure to squoosh and squorsh. I pulled big, warm lumps of it to from the trough in front of the flattening table far more often than I needed to just so I could pull a Mr. Whipple on ‘em. Sometimes, once I set them down, these contorted lumps would appeal to me on an aesthetic level and I would toy with them throughout the day until it was clear nothing was going to come of it … or I would take them home to work on them further.

Please don’t ask how I suddenly had wire loops and other small, sculpting implements at my house where, prior, none existed. All I can say is that every foundry coworker’s house I ever visited had a similar issue – a fact I noted well before finding a rag-tag set of the tools somehow migrated to my own.

Abstrakt 1 - acid washedOne small abstract that started out as a lump of wax became the first piece I ever had molded. “Abstrakt 1″ I called it, being the creative type. I played with the contours for weeks and never really finished it to my liking but had it molded anyway. I even dreamed of casting a large version. The only one I have in metal has been further perverted by a long bath in nitric acid, which ate away a decent portion of the outer surface. I still have the mold, though, and found a semi-decent pour of the thing while “researching” this story.

Other abstracts followed, using a very similar process of discovery. The similarities between “Glean” below and the wax lump image above bear this out.

Abstrakt 2Glean

wax stalagmitesAt the same time that I was squishing and squinting at wax blobs, I was also playing around with the “stalagmites” of wax that formed at our stations from the wax dripping off the hot griddles and soldering iron tips. The friend who’d gotten me the job molded a small skull decoration of mine and I built a small, fantasy scene from the two elements. My friend also made me a keychain charm from one of the skulls, which I use to this day.

wax skullsCavern of the HeadhuntersSkull Keychain Charm

The foundry tended to attract and employ artistic types and most artistic types are temperamental if not just plain mental. The turnover rate and continual restructuring, as people moved from department to department, was bewildering. One month a coworker was a spruer, then a welder, then a patineur, then a salesman – then fired.

There was lots of disgruntlement as just-above minimum-wage employees helped sculpt art that was sold for thousands. It didn’t help that the job cards, which followed the pieces throughout the process at the foundry, detailed what the client was paying for each step. The disparity between the price paid versus the pay received was a bit startling but, of course, the employee never considers the cost of materials, insurance, maintenance, etc that goes into keeping them employed and the foundry running – they just want to know why the client is paying $75/hr for a job they’re getting $9/hr for.

The friend who’d gotten me the job decided that he simply wasn’t being paid enough for his efforts so, every day, a half hour before quitting time, he’d cross his arms and just sit there, doing nothing. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he was giving himself a raise. I told him he was giving himself a one way ticket to the unemployment line. He didn’t care. It didn’t matter to him that he’d *agreed* to work at such a wage, he felt he deserved more – and so they busted him down to wax pour. Eventually, he became so miserable that he left the foundry altogether and began work at another … where he was again, eventually busted down to wax pour.

I'm rewarded for implementing someone else's ideaTo be fair, management was no picnic. The head of the operation, somebody’s rich son, as the story went,  was loathed and ridiculed by virtually all the employees. When he’d finally had enough, he brought in a surrogate. We were all pretty hopeful at first. The new guy called in the heads of all the departments for private talks to hear their ideas. Then he threw a big, after work party with pizza, beer, and a pep-talk of monumental proportions. I was given a cash award for pressing forward on a long-since departed coworkers’s idea on how to replace and improve the wooden “gun-racks” we used for spruing the large and fragile monument panels. I was also made head of monument sprue; a team created on the spur of the moment for all the monuments we were lined up to cast.

My very first job in this position had me overseeing the spruing of a massive monument, panel after panel of which I allowed to pass through the process *unmarked* to fit the scheme map that came with it, meaning the welders had to do their best to puzzle it out on the metal floor. Boy was I popular. I never made that mistake again, I can assure you.

Watching a show on traditional, African art one evening, I had the idea of a figure with a big, flat, nearly two-dimensional face atop a more normally rounded body. I set to work on it and had my finished product pretty quickly. It still had the primitive aesthetic I had claimed I wanted before but now I actually *did* like it. I was especially happy with the laced fingers.

I stuck a medium-sized sprue to its back and ran a couple of spaghetti gates to its extremities. My supervisor, took one look and laughed. “That’ll never pour, man,” he clucked. “All those little, thin parts? All the detail? No matter how you gate it, it’s going to pour short. That needs to be vacuum cast if you want it to have a chance of surviving.”

Vacuum casting? I’d heard of it before and knew we were one of the few big foundries in town to employ the process, more typically used in the jewelry trade because of its ability to get around the bubbles and short pours associated with smaller, thinner parts and detail.

Vacuum casting uses a special, finer shell material or “investment” than the larger pieces and all the items cast in this way have to fit within the circumference of a “flask:” tall, metal tubes that are placed over the vertical sprue tree and filled with the investment. While this investment is still wet, the cans are placed in a vacuum chamber which pulls all the air out of the investment, forcing it to fully collapse around the delicate forms within, producing a much finer mold. Further, the main gate of the sprue tree is far greater in mass in relation to the pieces which are attached to it than is so of the more traditionally cast pieces. This extra room in the gate assures greater fluid pressure on the hollows in the mold after the wax has been melted out and the molten metal is poured in.

I was excited by this alternative process and thereafter assisted my supervisor whenever we did it. Because we didn’t always have pieces requiring such special care, vacuum casting flasks were rarely part of a pour but, when they were I always tried to have a piece for the tree.

That first time out, I cast not just the aforementioned little fellow with the flat head but a piece I like even better – “Galumph” – a crude Seussian elephant in miniature.

ClaspGalumph

The Padisha Emperor BuddhaI also decided to cast The Padisha Emperor Buddha – a collaborative piece that I and a short-term station-mate fashioned in a couple of weeks between swipes at sprue gates. I’d hoped the thing would grow and change and become more elaborate as we worked on it (it started out as a simple pinch of victory brown) but my partner in this particular crime only lasted about a month at the job and, truth be told, was never as taken with the idea as I was. Still, being a devotee of frequent acid trips and the musical stylings of Dr. Octagon, his additions are what gave the resulting blob of stupidity the little, surreal charm it does have.

life-cast, wax fingersBronzeFinger - life castingEver fascinated with the concept of life casting, I made a large number of decent, single-finger castings by coating a digit with wax, chilling it, spraying the resulting negative with a mold-release serendipitously named “Stoner,” then filling it with wax. I discovered that spraying in too much Stoner would produce a bubbly positive, which somteimes looked pretty cool. So cool, in fact, that I cast one.

Elephant - life casting of my right handI became so adept at this simple process that I decided to go one step further and cast my entire hand (in double-joint display position, natch) by dipping it into the big wax vat one painful layer at a time over lunch. Victory Brown melts at 175º F! Damned stupid but I was surprised at just how good it came out.

Back on the vacuum casting front, I decided to create something creepy for myself: a corpse in a coffin. I worked long and hard on the piece, playing with it until the details were just to my liking. Best of all was the coffin, which I fashioned from thin, sheet wax, dipped into victory brown, and then carved to look like wood grain.

 At the last instant my older brother, who now worked alongside me in the sprue department,  convinced me to put a crack in the coffin lid. I couldn’t see what he was thinking at all but, dutiful little brother that I am, I hacked that stupid looking y in it with a soldering iron and sprued it up after screwing it up. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. So stupid – go sculpt your own damn coffin and leave this idiotic sycophant alone, wouldja?

Not WellStill, the piece came out great and, when a contractor disparaged its dimensions and execution with unnecessary cruelty one afternoon, I realized a couple of things. First, I understood almost immediately that the guy only wanted to knock it down a peg because, despite the dumb crack and his complaint that the figure’s feet were too big, it was obvious he thought it was cool as hell and was jealous. Second, I knew that it wasn’t perfect and even took the time to show him that the feet were big so that the figure could stand, ala Karloff’s Mummy, but I liked it a lot and his comments didn’t phase me for a second. Even if they hadn’t been said out of jealousy but honest criticism it wouldn’t have mattered because the piece succeeded for its target audience: me.

It was on that day that I came to fully realize that one must do art for one’s self, first or never realize contentment. Certainly you may end up being the only one who likes the work but … hey: *you* like it, so screw ‘em! Also, put your ego down, bub. You’re not as unique as you’d like to think. If you like it, sure as heck someone else will, too, so quit worrying about other people and just go for it!

With this new sense of artistic self, I began a trio of figures based on an initial bit of fooling around I did at a coworker’s sculpting party. The coworker, a multi-talented welder named Jeff, was a serious artist, albeit a young and struggling one. Gregarious and dedicated, he’d set up a garage on his rented property as a full studio and, when he had sculpting parties there, it was expected that you’d come in, grab a beer or a toke and a wad of wax and work on something – anything! – throughout the evening, then leave it in his studio when you were done.

I was done within minutes of arriving, and I don’t mean with my impromptu sculpture. Stumbling over to the pan of wax lumps floating in hot water, I selected one for my own and immediately shoved my thumb deep within its core. It felt good in there, all tight and warm and wet. Almost like a …  I looked down and there was a misshapen, brown lump on my thumb. I didn’t know what the hell it was. Others were walking around with little abstracts or faces or whatever and here I was, looking like Little Jack Horner after a visit to the loo.

I quickly smoothed out the lump, elongating it and shaping it into … I still had no idea but then it began to look like a mouth and the queerest idea hit me. An idea of a figure with wide, empty eyes and a mouth that spiraled away to nothing.

Instead of leaving the piece on the shelf as I was supposed to, I snuck it out to my car and took it home, adding a body of similar, primitive detail as the one on “Clasp.” I carved symbols into the back of the creature’s head, and wrapped the thing’s nightmare mouth around its butt like a tail. I called it “Theos” and imagined a the others, each one an aspect of man’s way of dealing with the nature of being.

Theos“Theos” represents those who believe in mysticism and divinity: huge, sightless eyes; a reliance of ancient and incomprehensible symbols for power and faith; a mouth that spirals ever on to nothing in an attempt to explain what would not need explaining were it true.

Agnos“Agnos” represents those who refuse to believe or disbelieve in divinity: holding up a stark white partial and broken actor’s mask in a failed attempt to conceal the lack of any head at all. The mask on this one was another lump of wax shoved over my thumb and then sculpted to appear both face like and broken.

Athos - the remaining bits“Athos” represents those who refuse all notions of spirituality or the divine: also lacking a head, three sets of arms branch out from the shoulders and bring the hands together to mimic the shapes of eyes, a nose and a mouth, indicating that Athos creates his own reality from only that which he can touch to ascertain is real.

“Theos” and “Agnos” were cast in the same session but “Athos,” as you can probably tell from the description, was a bit more daunting. I got the idea for his face from the Jim Henson movie “Labyrinth” (natch) and actually managed to do a rough sculpt of all the parts for the piece but I never managed an actual assembly or cast. Surprisingly, a few of the pieces have survived the intervening years and, if I ever have the opportunity to vacuum cast bronze again, “Athos” will be job #1.

to be continued …

#33 – Citipati Thangka

May 16th, 2013 by cae

Citipati Thangka

Citipati (“two skeletons – charnel lords)

In Tibetan Buddhism, the Citipati, a pair of intertwined, ecstatically dancing, male and female skeletons, are ascetics who were so lost in meditation that they they were robbed and beheaded by a thief without ever coming out of their trance.

Their symbol is meant to represent both the eternal dance of death as well as perfect awareness and they are invoked as ‘wrathful deities,’ benevolent protectors; fierce beings of demonic appearance.

The dance of the Citipati is commemorated twice annually in Tibet with ritual dances.

I was gifted with this beautiful, hand painted thangka, sewn into a traditional, brocade standard, given to me by my then boss at the metaphysical book store I worked at from 2002 to 2007 (I know – crazy, right?). I love it and am eternally grateful.

Thank you, Jill: namaste.

I don’t mean to be irreverent (oh, who am I kidding?) but it seems to me they might have had longer lives of devotion had they not been so busy navel gazing that they didn’t even notice their peril.

Brother, I can see your skull.

Sound –
Hey, That’s Not What I Ordered! – Pleasureboaters

May 13th, 2013 by cae

Neumos

It’s November, 2007 and at my suggestion, my 12 year-old daughter, Mel, is busy shoving wads of toilet paper into her ear canals.

It’s her first rock concert, you see, and we’ve already walked 20+ blocks from the ferry terminal in downtown Seattle to a place called “Neumos” and here I went and forgot the earplugs.

Earplugs may sound sissy but, as my friend James, a veteran of hundreds of punk shows, taught me, they not only protect your ears but *improve* the sound. By cutting down on the inevitable sonic overload, definition is greatly increased. Also, having roomed with various musicians during early adulthood, I witnessed and have a definite disinterest in developing tinnitus.

And so I send my twelve year old daughter trotting off to the women’s loo to procure some makeshift canal wadding. Me? I’m just gonna have to grin and bear it.

BattlesWe’re here to see Battles, a band I discovered via NPR’s “All Things Considered” program one afternoon. I was pulled in by the band’s interlocking rhythms, a reference to King Crimson as an influence, and the fact that they create music much the way I often have: overlaying different, polyrhythmic loops via a combination of sampling and live performance.

I’ve never been to Neumos before but it is just like the venues of my youth, places I saw bands like The Melvins and Mr. Bungle in: filthy, smelly, dank, dim, cramped, and crumbling. If you touch the place, it comes off on your hand. The walls are encrusted with posters, graffiti, and the dried remnants of biotal excreta. I think there must be a federal law prohibiting venues of this sort from any real maintenance – and too right. By the time a band gets to the stage that they can pull a truly nice theater, they’re no longer relevant as a rock act but rather just a pallid echo of one.

Much of the layout of the place remains a mystery to me because, after the walk and waiting for 30 minutes in the line that snaked around the building, we took up a stubborn residence at the left front corner of the stage while we still could. I’ve “seen” far too many shows from a vantage point that would have been greatly improved by just forgetting the whole thing and staying home and I don’t want Mel’s first experience to be like that.

The band is late, so we spend the time people watching while I disseminate pearls of concert going wisdom, which is a total laugh because I’ve been to so few shows, maybe 15 at that point. My sagacity is further belied by the revelation of the forgotten earplugs but, in her excitement, I don’t think my daughter notices. Phew: still a few more months of “cool” left in me.

Bronze FawnThough scheduled for 8, the opening band – the now defunct Bronze Fawn – doesn’t hit the stage until 8:50, then works their way through a set of long, wandering, instrumental numbers. A competent, local, prog-rock group, their performance has my daughter begging me to buy her their cd. I shell out my remaining cash to the merch-maiden, then watch as the next band sets up.

By now I’m sort of miffed that I have to sit through two other bands I’ve never heard of to see the headliners. It’s this sort of thing that keeps me from going to more shows – and also points me out as a bit of an idiot.

As we stand waiting, a thin, pasty fellow walks out with a guitar case and begins setting up at the corner where we have parked ourselves. I watch him for a few minutes then comment to my daughter that he looks nervous, unsure of himself. Maybe he is the rhythm guitar player, newly drafted and fragile; his first show. I felt I could make him wince with a shout, he appears so unsteady and uneasy, on the verge of puking.

The guitarist is followed by a portly, grinning noodge – the drummer, of course – and a bearded, confident looking young man who tosses his long bangs out of his eyes as he makes the stage, a bass guitar hanging from his neck. The trio is Pleasureboaters, billed as a thrash band – what the hell are they doing sandwiched between two prog-ish groups?

Mel and IFor the second time of the evening we are assaulted by a sound check: kick drum thumps, chunky bass notes, twangy guitar tests. Then the wiry guitar player approaches the mike: “FUCK! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT FUCK!” Were I better parent I’d clamp my hands over my daughter’s ears and drag her the heck out of there – instead I just reflect on the fact that she hears worse daily in middle school and settle back to enjoy the spectacle.

A small knot of fans, many of them female and probably the band’s girlfriends, appear out of nowhere to gather to the right of us at the edge of the stage where they commence hooting, squealing, bouncing, and otherwise cheering the band on.

As the sound check continues, the bass player swaggers around his little corner of the stage, confidently making asides, while the drummer clowns on his stool, grinning like an eager schoolboy. Only the guitar player seems intent on the task at hand. What I first thought of as nervousness could be more of a steady concentration. As he continues to scream over our heads, his voice already cracking and ragged from strain, I can’t help but wonder: this is just the sound check, will he be able to keep this up?

Apparently prepared, the band launches into an energetic barrage of thumping, screaming – yet still hook-laden – pop-noise that takes those of us outside the know by surprise. I repeat: what the *hell* are these guys doing sandwiched between two prog groups?

Throughout the set, the singer/guitar player never stops twitching, thrashing, kicking, and flying around like a rag in a hurricane, all the while shrieking, moaning, and pouring himself directly into the microphone, the reverbing, gutsy thrang of his tortured telecaster reminding me at times of downtown New York, jazz guitarist Marc Ribot – albeit a Marc Ribot on a combination of acid and coke. How this kid keeps it together, playing, screaming, and twisting himself as if possessed, is beyond me. Underneath this chaos the solid, driving, and surprisingly adept rhythm section’s punchy competence holds everything together. The drummer never seems to stop grinning.

There is nothing particularly artful about the set. The band *attacks* the songs, their instruments, and, through their performance, the audience, as if their lives depend upon it. Most of us just stand there, mouths agape as the band screams through one number after another, pausing only a few seconds between each to gather its breath before renewing the assault. The pauses allow the bass player to utter observations and witticisms – the most memorable being directed at much of the crowd’s reaction to their set: “Those guys over there don’t know what the hell to think.”

He’s right. We are confused, taken aback. In general, we *hate* them. No matter how amazed I am at the lead’s ability to play, scream, and contort at once, they just don’t fit. We have come to see intelligent, controlled, nouveau prog played by bright young men in nice clothing as our main course and are being presented with a shrill, abrasive, and sweaty appetizer. I keep waiting for the singer to cough blood and collapse or crash, a la Kurt Cobain, into the flailing kit of the drummer but on they play, somehow both loose and tight at the same time.

After a forty minutes of this outrage, well over their allotted slot, the sound person shouts down from her perch that they need to end their set NOW but the bass player, like a naughty child, assures her only a few more songs remain and they launch directly into their next number before she can protest further. You have to laugh at the audacity.

Halfway through one of these last songs, the singer climbs gracelessly and tottering up onto the kick drum, brays like a gutshot mule in time to the music, then throws himself to the stage, miraculously not injuring anyone or the equipment. I look at Mel – she looks at me. The band’s like watching a building afire.

Soon enough it’s over and we’re standing around in shock waiting for Battles to get setup. Mel and I discuss the musical travesty we’ve just witnessed with knowing smirks while I gawp, goggle-eyed, at the far more famous personas setting up within touching distance.

Battles is introduced by an over-eager, Japanese fan, apparently traveling with them, who begs the crowd throughout the set in broken English to be more enthusiastic in our appreciation, to scream, dance, put our hands together, further damaging our ability to do so by making us conscious of ourselves and the lack of energy the band produces.

Not that they’re bad – they aren’t, they’re fascinating – but following a set like the one Pleasureboaters just delivered, their jouncy, art school, prog-pop seems a bit tepid and the venue’s acoustics turn their more nuanced intricacies into incomprehensible goo. Further, so much of what they create is accomplished by the members sampling a riff or two, then rocking along next to their workstations as the loops do much of the work. I swear, there are more Apples on stage than at your average roadside fruit stand.

Don’t get me wrong: the ability for four people to create and then synchronize so many different things at once – and in a live setting! – is no simple task but they make it look so and to their detriment. Only the drummer plays every note of his that you hear so, by the time their set is halfway over, the man is literally running with sweat while everyone else is still looking fresh and unrumpled in comparison. I feel sorry for him and hope he earns double what the other members do.

Afterwards, as we make our way back to the ferry, my daughter and I talk about the show. Mel enthuses about Bronze Fawn as she eagerly fondles her new cd but complains that she hadn’t been able to tell one Battles song apart from the other. Being more familiar with their music, I had an easier time but agree with her, speaking of my admiration for the band’s drummer and noting, with some surprise, my disappointment that so much of their sound is looped by computers, a fact I was well aware of before seeing the show but had never so clearly witnessed before. It adds immense layers to the band’s output and really isn’t a “cheat” in the grand scheme of things – but it sure *looked* like one.

Mostly, though, we complain about that middle band, Pleasureboaters. How out of place they were. How screechy they were. How ridiculous they were. How noisy, how crude, how torturous. Halfway up the funhouse-like ramp to the ferry terminal, I realize something and stop, turning to Mel:

“You know what? Pleasureboaters are the only one’s we’re really talking about.”

Mel stops and looks at me, skeptical, then nods with a little smile as the realization dawns on her, too.
“I think I need their cd,” I continue, suddenly mad at myself for not having picked one up at the show.
“Well, yeah, they were interesting,” Mel concedes, “but I don’t know if I liked them *that* much.”
But the more we think and talk about the evening, the more we focus on Pleasureboaters while the other bands fade from our mind.

PleasureboatersThe first thing I do upon arriving home is look up the show on Youtube in the hopes of hearing Pleasureboaters again. The recordings I find are unwatchable, distorted iphone travesties, so I track them down via their Myspace page and listen to the few tracks they have up. Oh, heck yeah. These guys are:unpretentious, uncompromising, raucous, and undeniably alive – plus there are hooks a plenty. This is the real rock and roll deal.

I order a copy of Pleasureboaters’ cd “¡gross!” and it remains one of my favorites – Mel’s, too. Thus my disappointment when, shortly thereafter while looking to see if they’re working on another album or playing any upcoming shows, I learn that they have broken up.

Why is it so many good bands last such a short time or only produce a few good albums before continuing to hang on well past their usefulness like so much overripe fruit? Liz Phair, Brad, Faraquet, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Roxy Music – it really does seem like a magnificent spark that has no tinder to catch beyond that of our ears. It is as if true music, the really magical stuff, is an animal that cannot survive in captivity, and yet the process of creating it is just that: boxing and caging this wondrous beast only to see it die from lack of freedom. Strike while the iron is hot, indeed.

I content myself with at least having seen them live, with having been jolted out of my staid, comfortable, little, middle-aged music world by their surprising and revelatory antics on stage. I have very little in my collection like them, as punk or thrash or whatever the hell it is they’re doing has never been to my liking – but the same can be said of many of the artists that make up the core of what I consider to be my favorite performers. I may not like the genres from which they spring – I hate the concept of genre in general – but oh, how I love what they bring to the form!

Trying to share Pleasureboaters with most friends and acquaintances is as pointless as trying to share Pere Ubu, Ruins, or Jandek. It doesn’t work. Noses turn up, eyes roll – once again I’m the guy with the broken radio, the guy with no taste, the weirdo … so what, I guess. It’s a suit I’m accustomed to.

In recent months I have been enjoying collecting records and I remember that Pleasureboaters album was released on white vinyl so I go to buy it and make a startling discovery: Ricky Claudon, Tim Cady, and Erik Baldwin are back together as Pleasureboaters. Both performing and supposedly working on another album.

GROSS!

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Amateur video often doesn’t translate concert energy or sound very well – but this one‘s not so bad.

Pleasureboaters on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/plsrbtrs

Taking You Out for a Spin

May 9th, 2013 by cae

This Immortal Coil clear vinyl patterns

I’ve really been enjoying my record collection now that I have a new turntable (a Pro-Ject Debut Carbon – incredible value for the price) and, from time to time, have encountered a few aspects of listening to rekkids that you just don’t get with any other medium – especially with the now ubiquitous digital files!

Which is ironic, given I am sharing this experience via digital video …

The first (above) was a real shock and joy: I received the album “This Imortal Coil” and was thrilled to discover that the disc in the sleeve was of transparent vinyl! Place that upon the clear, acrylic platter of my Debut Carbon and – wow – check out those hypnotic, against-the-flow patterns!

The album is a tribute to the experimental/electronica band, Coil, featuring, among others, Bonny Prince Billy and Yann Tiersen. This particular track is entitled “Tattooed Man” and features the amazing performance of Yaël Naim. Her two contributions to the album make it a must buy. I would have let the whole song play but I was recording with my iphone and it didn’t seem like the thing to do at the time.

The second video here was recorded right after I got my new turntable and demonstrates what can happen when you haven’t got your arm weight and anti-skating mechanism properly set up (anti-skating is what keeps the needle from being pulled too hard in one direction or another across the surface of the record).

Robert Fripp Exposure lead out track jump

The effect, seen here at the end of side A on Robert Fripp’s “Exposure” album, was so serendipitous and consistant that I was initially convinced it was an intentional effect – it is not. Bummer. Check it out!

“for after the divorce”

May 6th, 2013 by cae

Poking about my “writings” folder, I discovered this piece entitled “for after the divorce,” written circa 2006. Intrigued I read it and was stunned by both its honesty and darkness. I knew I wanted to share it but I wasn’t sure why and so I mothballed it again until I understood the urge. There are some uncomfortable moments here and so much has changed in my life – all for the better! – why dredge up the clotted ichor of the past?

I eventually realized that the urge to share it had to do with the realization that we are so often capable of pulling ourselves out of the deepest and darkest places. Very shortly after this was written – a few months or more – I started that elusive career and, though my marriage did fall apart and even harder times were to come, it was an adventure that has led me to the amazing place I am now.

Is the darkness gone? Are all hard times banished to my past, never to return? Doubtful, very doubtful but the strength to inspect the positions we find ourselves in under the barest of lights, to acknowledge and understand the hows and whys of our failings, is the only path to salvation – even when there is no solution. With that in mind, I offer this very personal moment of crumbling momentum.

cae 4-29-2013

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Oubliette

I am supposed to be worried. I should be out of my mind with worry. My marriage is at an end. My wife may be planning to throw me out on my ass. It could happen at any time. I am broke and soon to be homeless. I own little beyond frivolous items and have only a few, underdeveloped skills. My job situation is shit; tomorrow I will turn 39 and I still haven’t “found a career.” I was more financially secure when I was 22.

But I’m not worried. Things will work out or they won’t.

We bought this house but, as a condition to moving in, I was forced to sign a quit-claim. In a small, stale room full of stiff, grey clothed people who looked on with a mixture of pity and contempt, I emasculated myself with a pen. Ten years ago, with a sense of hope and new beginnings, we looked together to build or buy a home together but the years passed, along with our love, and now I am but a squatter, an unwanted guest in the family home.

The basement room I have been given to use (relegated to) while I am here has but one finished wall and a long, dark hallway. The rest of the walls are either bare cinder block or studs backed by the sheet rock which makes up the walls of the abutting room. The ceiling is similarly unfinished; a low rib-cage of supporting joists and duct-work, pink fringes of insulation hanging down here and there like rent flesh. Whenever anyone walks on the floor above, dust sifts down through the cracks of the floor boards and powders the surface of all below. Things creak. The room is humid, sections of the concrete floor are clammy with a thin, spotted, clay-like surface. All my books have swollen slightly and I await the development of mold. The previous owner used the space as a grow room for various species of rhododendrons. It smelled like an open grave. I still find little balls of mercury on the floor from what must have been numerous carelessly dropped thermometers.

I am sweeping the floor of the room with a whisk broom and dust pan. For some reason I have decided to take some of my useless belongings out of their boxes and place them on shelves; hundreds of small, Japanese monster toys upon which I have squandered not only my money but the money of a bank whom charges me such an exorbitant monthly percentage that I have no hope in hell of ever getting out from under their thumb. My own thumb. The toys have rested in dark boxes for almost a year. Now, on the day my wife and daughter are supposed to return from a two month long trip to Colorado, I am taking the toys out. The action makes no sense. I know this even as I am doing it but it’s like building a wall of hope against the inevitability of my failure as human.

I’d make a good mouse, though.

As I sweep behind a case, I step on something which sticks to my bare heel. Reaching back to my lifted foot, I blindly sweep at whatever it is and a small shard of glass becomes embedded in the side of the index finger of my right hand. The wound bleeds as I stare at it, dimly comprehending. I watch as the crimson rivulet makes its way like a casual shopper down my finger to the tip, where it gathers, trembling, uncertain and bulbous, before dropping to the floor; an impossible glossy red. There are more and I watch as they form, thinking of a short story I wrote some years back – but here there is no perversely placed cat to lick up the blood, no food within my person. Shaking free of my ever-incomprehensible mind’s hold, I staunch the flow with a bit of toilet paper. The small wound continues to ooze as I return to work, the fragile seal of dried blood cracking now and again with my exertions to Rorschach on itself and its nearest neighbor.

I am afraid of my wife’s return and what that will bring. We’ve lived the lie for over 12 years, now. Miserable, distant; two utter fools. Spoiled children. Helpless idiots wanting the divorce for a long time, perhaps even since the first day of marriage, yet holding it together, through weakness. The rift grew along with the lies that allowed us to pretend that the ever more tenuous bonds between us were strong and real. When they finally unraveled it was like a tree going down; a few snaps, a slow twist, then, with ever increasing speed, down to the unsuspecting forest floor below where it is difficult to remain decent over even the most innocent cups of coffee. If I am anything in the relationship, it is the not-so silent groundskeeper, the consistent one enmeshed in a tireless effort to not only to preserve his own sanity but also the all-important facade for the world. She does the same but the paths are separate and her vision of the family contains one less individual than mine.

playing with fireTwo nights ago I had a dream in which I punched her in the face. In the dream we were out driving to talk the details of our failing relationship over. I don’t know what she said but I punched her and she became more attentive. Even in the dream it is a shock. In the waking world I would never resort to violence with anyone except in self defense. I’ve not been in a physical altercation since the 9th grade. I don’t like violence and do not use it with living organisms. People who know me would say that is because I am a nice, caring, moral person but the truth is I am a coward; afraid of the fight, afraid of my own rage and where it would take me were I to ever give it its head. The sense of wrongness generated by my dreaming self’s action is overwhelming even as I do it and I awaken nervous, the fear flapping wounded in my gut. I do not confuse the dream with reality but pull back from myself with revulsion at even the conception of the possibility.

Later, I am done fussing about the room and the beers go down easily, too easily and I am smoking cigarettes – an old, dead habit resurrected as if the poor choices of my youth reenacted can somehow comfort me. Such a bad idea but it works. I want to drink another beer, to pretend that I don’t have to go to work in the morning, to pretend that my daughter isn’t coming home, too. I want to see her, I miss her very much, but my wife will be there, too. I crack the beer and goes it down easily, imitating my sense of self.

My wife. Wife. It sounds like a combination of “life” and “why?”

I want another beer. I want to go on drinking until I fall unconscious. I should have gone to bed an hour ago and still they are not home. Where are they? Just like her to be late. Just like her to keep others waiting and then expect them to receive her with relief and fanfare. Just like me to be so tired. I want to drink and not wake up.

I write this, instead, my bloody fingers clumsy on the keyboard. Then I check my email, hoping for a message from a friend – something – to occupy my thoughts.

Nothing. I turn off the laptop and relate to the dying glow of the screen.

#32 – Social Media

May 2nd, 2013 by cae

Social Media

Corpocopia

April 29th, 2013 by cae

Corpocopia by Corey A. Edwards

Attempting to juggle his keys, travel mug, mail, and groceries as he unlocked the front door, Gregg Mead somehow managed to jab the sharp point of something into the tip of his right index finger.

Cursing with grace and fluidity, he trotted to the kitchen, set each item down upon the counter, and attended to the matter at hand, which was his hand, or, more specifically, his finger, whose abused tip he stuck into his mouth for a first-aid suck.

Upon removal and inspection, he noted a small bead of blood forming at the finger’s tip. Licking it off revealed a miniscule area of pink irritation, soon obscured by another bead and an unpleasant stinging.

“Ahtcha-hiya!” he cried, shaking his hand in an attempt to dispel the pain of reality. Droplets of blood broke loose to plip across the oven’s white enamel door in a delightful array bound to engage his wife’s attention in direct disproportion to the minuscule spread of brightly contrasting specks that flowered along its otherwise pristine surface.

“Dammit.”

Fetching a damp dishrag, he wiped up the inadvertent gore and, ringing the rag out under the faucet, was surprised to see the tiny wound still oozing. It no longer hurt but showed no signs of closing. Under normal circumstances, such a small injury would have bled a bit as a complaint and then stopped as his body’s natural pastiness took over and sealed shut the leak but this particular wound was proving a bit more insistent – the puncture must be deeper than he realized.

Grimacing, Gregg blotted the crimson with a tissue, wrapping it about the tip of his finger in an effort to staunch the flow.

Trickle, he corrected himself. Droplet.

Ever since childhood, blood, scabs, acne, boogers, and the like had fascinated Gregg. It was embarrassing to be interested in such things, socially unacceptable but, when alone, had he a scab to pick or a booger to dig, he would do so without shame, privately working at the task with an earnest eagerness others reserved for secret stashes of candy or pet-hobbies like ham radio and model trains.

Of course, he never went too far. He didn’t eat boogers, for example, or wipe them on his pants or, rolling them until semi-dry, flick them across the room at the cat. He just liked the challenge of pulling them free; savoring the feeling of the long, wet ones as their transparent tails slid slowly from his sinus with a sly, teasing tickle. After a short inspection, he would dispose of them properly and sanitarily, giving his nose a good healthy blow, just like anyone else. Similarly, he never injured himself on purpose just to have a scab to pick at and any wound too large, deep, or otherwise serious fell outside the realm of interest and into the land of queasy concern. Concern that usually involved calling his wife to come take a look and, if necessary, apply first aid or shuttle him off to the nearest emergency room for professional care. Real injuries he treated with respect, refraining from messing about with them until they lost their depth and emotional impact. He was, after all, not a third grader or a mental patient but a full-grown, well-adjusted man.

This present wound, so tiny as to be inconsequential, lay squarely within the ‘fair-game camp’, as Gregg saw it so, peeling away the wadded tissue, he looked to see if the puncture had closed. It had.

A thin smear of dried blood arced around one side of the break in his skin, now held closed by a tenuous collection of dried cells. Peering closer, Gregg applied pressure to the sides of his finger tip and watched as the split, once sealed, reopened to reveal its inflamed interior. Laying a few tissues on the counter, Gregg lowered his hand and milked the finger to get the blood flowing again.

It was a thing he did on occasion: seeing how long he could keep a small wound bleeding. His veins obliged and another thick red droplet appeared, falling with obedience to flower in the delicate absorbency of the tissue’s fibers.

Gregg milked and milked, occasionally windmilling his arm, as if in imitation of Pete Townshend, in order to increase the blood pressure in his hand. He kept his fist balled so that there would be no repeat performance of blood spatters – not on his wife’s decorative towels!

Unlike in the past, where such efforts had only a momentary effect on the ever slowing flow of blood from his body, this time there seemed no end to the amount he could ease from his finger. Realizing that the tissues were now saturated and on the verge of oozing across the counter, he mopped up his mess and went outside to let his finger drain over the railing of the deck.

Many might have been concerned about the overall blood loss but Gregg saw it as so slow – just a drop or two a minute – that it was more interesting than it was alarming. At the rate it was coming from him it should have been coagulating – but it wasn’t. Had he developed hemophilia? Was it even possible to develop hemophilia?

Below, in the cool grass, the heavy droplets of blood added cheery color to the lawn. Whimples, a three year old blond tabby who loved lolling in the shade on such days, wandered out from under the deck and began to lick Gregg’s blood from the sunlit blades.

Gregg found himself locked into a stare, a combination of the sun’s heat, the spectacle of his cat lapping up his blood from the yard, and the perplexing question of just why his blood wasn’t coagulating cinched him into a pleasant, voluntary stupor that he allowed himself to luxuriate in, snapping out of it only when he noted that the fluid dripping from his finger was changing color and viscosity.

Bringing his hand back up to his face, Gregg noted that his blood – if blood it were – had gone from deep crimson to pinkish in tone and that it now stuck less readily to his skin, rolling off at the slightest movement. As he watched, it lost even more of its reddish tint until the flow was a stark white, not at all unlike . . . milk.

Gregg put his finger in his mouth and sucked tentatively. It did taste a little like milk. Warm milk.

“What the … ”

Gregg instinctively squeezed his finger more and the – I suppose we’re going to have to call it milk – squirted out as if he were manipulating the udder of a dairy cow.

“Milk.” he said, dumbfounded.

Below, in the grass, tongue doing double-time, Whimples was ecstatic.

Gregg wandered back inside, cupping one hand with the other to keep from spilling this strange dairy fluid onto the floor. He rested his arm in the sink, wiping his other on the dishrag before giving another squeeze to this magical teat of a finger. Again the milk squirted forth, though less enthusiastically than before. Something seemed to be impeding the flow.

As he watched, the dripping slowed then ceased altogether. Had his new found milk vein scabbed over?

Closer inspection revealed that it very well might have for, at the now swollen tip of his bizarre finger, there oozed a chunky bit of yellowish white, reminding Gregg of the core of a large zit. Slight pressure squirted it free, the force widening the tear in his finger tip a smidge and revealing more of the thick, white, well, I suppose the best term might be curds.

“Son of a bitch.”

Gregg milked more and more at the finger, bringing out a near quarter-cup of the fragrant white cheese before, once again, there seemed to be another, larger obstruction.

Gregg’s finger was now quite swollen, yet not painful. The hole – now a gash – at the end of his finger pouted out and away from the bone, its lips stretched and torn but bloodless. Peering into the wound, not without a touch of queasiness, Gregg spied meat and almost felt a sense of relief. Here, finally, was something he could understand in his finger, yet the more he looked at it the more it dawned upon him that, if anything, things had only gotten stranger.

The end of this thing he spied had a divot surrounded by numerous radiating wrinkles. Instead of the irritated pink of flayed skin, this nubbin of pebbled meat appeared almost bloodless and dead, as if sheathed in a hazy white shroud.

Trembling, Gregg placed the thumb and forefinger of his left hand at the base of the swelling and applied careful pressure. He could feel whatever it was beneath his skin strain and twist within the taut confines of the finger but it would not budge. Gregg scrutinized the opening again to find that it had widened but still remained too small in circumference to allow passage of this new, meaty blockage.

Gregg applied a more firm, steady pressure and, feeling some measure of success, continued to increase it until, without warning, the end of what could only be an uncooked breakfast sausage came oozing forth from the wound.

“Jimmy Dean.” The phrase croaked from his throat before he could stop it. The sausage protruded from the end of his finger, an alien extension.

Grasping the sausage with his good hand he gave it a slow, light tug, pulling with care until it was all the way out. He was not the least bit surprised to see that the short tendril of skin that trailed it was attached to yet another sausage. Whimples, nose working, mewled hungrily from the other side of the screen door.

The sausages made a light sucking sound as they came and Gregg marveled at the sensation. Not at all unlike a satisfying bowel movement, he thought. He could feel the links as they came sliding down his arm, unreeling from somewhere deep within his torso. Mesmerized, he kept pulling until, with a moist pop, the last one came free in his hand.

In a state of disbelieving shock, Gregg brought his wonderful new finger – ‘farm hand’ might be a better term – up to his astonished eyes. What could be next? The sight of a dimpled yellow rind got him giggling and this time, instead of gently milking the item from his arm, he shook and shook, shouting encouragement until, with the aid of gravitational force, three bright lemons fell to the floor: 1-2-3.

Oh, this was fun!

Somewhere in the efforts to dislodge the lemons (followed shortly by three yams and a stalk of celery) Gregg’s tortured finger gave up the ghost. Quite probably it had torn on the first oval fruit and still clung to the lemon like some impromptu and altogether ineffective condom. Gregg didn’t care. He was too enthralled by the continuing spectacle. Without pain and blood, what was the worry? Certainly none of this could really be happening. It had to be a dream – right? Right?!? Of course it was! Thus, when the remnants of his hand proved too obstructive for what turned out to be a grapefruit, Gregg did not hesitate to lop it of with one quick hack of his wife’s coveted Wustoff butcher knife.

Chop! Out rolled the grapefruit.

It became difficult to make sense or keep track of all that Gregg’s grocery body produced for him that day. Whimples, having lost interest at the first bout of citrus, certainly didn’t stay to try, preferring to chase after a summer moth that bumbled out of the sky to skitter along the surface of the yard, and Gregg became altogether too bewitched by the sheer breadth of variety to do so. One level of his mind faced the whole thing with just enough reality to feel a growing horror but the rest, so convinced that it must be but a waking hallucination, just sat back and enjoyed the cornucopia of edibile delights that continued to spill from the wondrous socket at his side.

“You are what you eat!” Gregg laughed, a shower of peanuts cascading from his arm, which now hung loose and impotent like the empty sleeve of a wet shirt.

Regaining a bit of composure, Gregg began collecting his scattered bounty, attempting to place it in some semblance of order on the kitchen counters. Everything was sorted and segregated as space would allow; meats, vegetables, fruits, tubers, grains, baked goods; all had their respective stack. Fluids – cream, beer, yogurt, soda, oil, syrup, and vinegar – he collected in a variety of tubs and glasses, whatever was handy and seemed appropriate. He bemoaned his lack of foresight in not having thought to capture the milk or first cheese in any receptacle other than the sink basin, and cried in horror when the eggs landed to splat unprotected onto the linoleum – wasting food, he believed, was a mortal sin.

Bending over, he realized how loose, not just his arm, but his entire body was, His torso slopped forward to such a degree that he almost toppled onto his face. His feet now slid around inside his shoes as if he were wearing gel socks one size too big, His chin rested rather lazily upon the sagging shelf of his collarbone, constricting the turning of his head.

Uncomfortable in the clothing that now quarreled with the folds and dewlaps developing on his deflating frame, he doffed the fabrics with some loose difficulty and settled himself onto one of the dining room chairs, the effort to drag it into the kitchen reminding him of those times he’d imbibed enough to lose partial control of his body.

And so he worked, growing ever more baggy, marveling at the ham hocks, rutabagas, bananas, butter, cabbages, chicken breasts, jam, oats, artichokes, olives, strawberries, maize, and loaves of bread that he’d been carrying around inside him, unbeknownst all these years.

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Emmy Mead got home late. It was hot and she was tired. It had been a difficult day and she had little time for Whimples, his incessant leg rubbing nearly tripping her as she opened the door.

“Hasn’t Daddy fed you yet? Naughty Daddy!”

Tossing her keys and purse into the alcove, she kicked off her shoes and walked towards the kitchen.

“Greeeeeegg,” she called, lengthening the name to imply that, instead of a ‘naughty daddy’, she regarded him more as an errant schoolboy. One who picked his nose when he thought no one was looking and had to be overseen if he was to complete any given task. “Gregg! Did you make it to the market today like I asked?”

Rounding the corner she stopped, startled. The kitchen was in a complete disarray. It looked as if her husband had picked up not just the few things she’d asked for but rather had highjacked a grocery truck. All manner of goods were stacked haphazardly about. Some in definite need of refrigeration, others lacking the proper packaging to contain their natural oozings.

“Oh, my god . . .” Emmy stamped her foot. Twice. What a child that man was!

She stalked further into the room until confronted by one of her dining room chairs, out of place, surrounded by a further tumble of produce, and upon which a flaccid, lumpy bag of hairy skin quivered, dribbling small foodstuffs onto the floor and, in its center … could that be a face?

“Honey,” mumbled the lips, “s’that you?”

cae 2004

#31 – Old School Project

April 25th, 2013 by cae

Dokuro

Sound –
My First Pop Record: Blondie – “Parallel Lines”

April 22nd, 2013 by cae

In early spring of this year, I returned to my hometown for a short visit with family and friends. During the visit, I managed to collect two recordings of my youth, one of which is the first, full-length, pop-music album I ever purchased: Blondie’s “Parallel Lines.”

Blondie - Parallel LinesBlondie - Parallel Lines

I don’t know when I first fell in love with music. Probably my audio-agape was hard-wired into my DNA, so no falling was necessary but there was a distinct period of time in my life when I went from being simply able to enjoy music to being nearly obsessed with it – and not just music but sound.

my brother commenting on my mother's musicianship in the late 60'sThe reason for the delay lies in the fact that you couldn’t call the household I grew up in particularly musical. We had a stereo, a guitar, some harmonicas and, off and on, a keyboard instrument of some kind or other – but no one ever pretended (or attempted) to be any kind of a musician. Of all the gear available, the only one ever consistently played was the stereo and that as background.

Though my father was a stereo enthusiast and my mother liked to dance, they were a busy, serious couple and too much focus on music would have been seen as frivolous. Certainly we never went anywhere to experience music and that which was played in our house was usually done under the sound of a vacuum or woodworking equipment.

My father gravitated towards country almost exclusively while I was growing up, though there was a time in the early years of my conscience when he also listened to a lot of Herb Alpert type stuff – I have some very distinct memories of him bopping around the house to the strains of “Spanish Flea.”

Dad really got into the whole stereo movement. He built his receiver from a Tandy kit, owned a reel-to-reel, and rescued a turntable from a radio station he helped to refurbish back in the day. This record player fascinated me and I loved to watch the strobe on the speed bars of the platter when switching speeds from 45 to 33rpm. He enjoyed making mix tapes on his reel-to-reel and, later on, with his dual cassette deck (my uncle had an 8-track recorder but my dad, convinced the medium was doomed from the start, never paid much attention to it).

Mom, on the other hand, was just interested in the music. It didn’t seem to matter to her if it was coming out of a single, tiny speaker or a couple of huge, expensive ones. She liked simple, hummable songs. Leaning more towards show tunes than pop, she saw music as a vehicle to display talent or tell a story through performance. Many an afternoon did I spend, splashing around in the tub as a tyke, with my mother playing her records to keep us company: “My Fair Lady”, “The Music Man”, “Oliver!”, “Funny Girl”. Is it any wonder my masculinity was called into question during adolescence?

Mom was also responsible for the Christmas records played during that season; collections of famous singers and the songs that they made the standards. I came to realize that the music itself was not too important to her – as long as it kept to itself there, in the back, it was okay. It had to have a steady, discernible beat or she would turn her nose up at it: too noisy, too weird. I often thought she’d prefer the rhythmic thump of a shoe in the clothes dryer to any really interesting piece of music: “they’re not playing together – you can’t dance to it!” Ugh.

My brother, 5 and a half years my senior, was well into rock music by the time I started paying attention. We had an AM clock radio, tuned to AM, 95 KIMN, of course, and through it listened to all the common hits of the day plus Casey Kasum’s Top 40 Countdown …

My musical taste was still very much a creature of what I was exposed to, not my own sensibilities leading me to new discoveries as would become the eventual model. The first record I ever bought was the “Young Frankenstein” soundtrack, followed five years later by a 45 of The Doobie Brothers “What A Fool Believes.” So smoooooth. In between I enthused with my mother over ABBA and John Denver, with my father over The Statler Brothers, and my brother over the Star Wars soundtrack and CW McCall.

I. Had. No. Clue.

One day I and my brother took a ride with my cousin in his Mustang and he cranked his latest 8-track: the eponymous, first album from a band called Van Halen. “Running With The Devil” full blast was a startling revelation: loud, rude, raucous and naughty. You could scream that? My brother purchased his own copy of the record as soon as he could afford it and we giggled through that first listening, imagining David Lee Roth’s screams as being caused by his sweaty body shorting out with the studio electronics: “Ow-wow!” In 7th grade I made a storyboard of a spaceship encountering different, multi-colored phenomena to the backing track of “Eruption” for a music class project. I received a B because I used rock music instead of classical. Fair enough.

Finding my brother’s musical direction far more interesting than that of my parents (natch), my own, next pop music purchase was directly influenced by what he and his friends were listening to. I had the money, I wanted to buy a big boy type thing, and we were in a record store, so, unsure, I bought Blondie’s “Parallel Lines” because I’d heard “Call Me” enough times for it to get its hooks into me. Too bad it’s not one of the tracks on “Parallel Lines.” Boy, was I disappointed when I got home. The music did little for me and the guys in the band looked doofy to me. The whole experience put me off that kind of pop for a long time. The proof? My next record purchase was Molly Hatchet’s “Flirtin’ With Disaster” …

Visiting my mother’s house last year, I discovered she still had my old Blondie record among her show tunes, left by me when I moved out in the late 80′s. I was offered it but demurred – why would I want that? This last visit, I changed my mind and decided it would be fun to have it back. The beautiful shape the vinyl is in is a testament to how little I liked the album, then. Listening now, it still misfires badly for my tastes, sounding irregular, as if compiled from different Blondie albums by a deaf idiot. A few of the tracks aren’t too bad but others … pew.

The biggest shock was when Fade Away and Radiate came on. “Who’s this guy think he is?” I wondered of the guitar player. “He’s totally ripping off Robert Fripp.” A few more runs up and down the neck and I’m grabbing the record sleeve to scan the liner notes:

“Oh, shit. That *is* Robert Fripp.”

Talk about serendipity. The very first, full length, pop album I ever bought I never really liked, yet it includes the guitar playing of a musician I would eventually come to idolize some 12 or so years later -and to this day. Fade away and radiate, indeed …

POINK! Spring-Loaded, Japanese Robot Fists!

April 18th, 2013 by cae

Poink! Spring-Loaded, Japanese Robot Fists!

Goofing around with the detail collage for my post on the “Instrucciones” poster inspired me to create a few fun (and totally stupid) products utilizing an iconic graphic from one of the instruction sheets: a spring-loaded, Japanese robot fist flying through the air!

I dunno about you but I’m definitely getting one of the shirts

Poink! Spring-Loaded, Japanese Robot Fists!

http://www.cafepress.com/coreyshead – Enjoy!