Archive for October, 2008
Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last?
October 30th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I hesitate to keep dishing on the churches in the area but …
There’s a church reader-board I drive by daily that never fails to catch my eye with its wit and wisdom (a recent nugget of indispensable profundity read “STOP DROP & ROLL WONT WORK IN HELL“).
Another recent admonition “LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST” got me to thinking.
What would I do if I it were my last day alive and I knew it?
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Jesus Is …
October 29th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
There’s this looming, metal sign on the road near my house that says, in large, blue letters: JESUS IS LORD.
The sign undoubtedly once read “Mobil” or “Standard”, “Sinclair” or maybe just “GAS” because it is hung on the same property as a long defunct gas station, which, for an unknown reason, someone keeps painting and maintaining despite its apparent irrelevance. (there’s a connection here, somewhere)
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Highs and Lows – a momentary slip into the personal
October 28th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
My life is such a jumble these days – so insane.
Learning the ropes of single parenthood
Personal rediscovery
Legal skirmishes with a loved-one turned enemy
Financial insecurity
Career frustrations
The seemingly endless scrutiny of custody-related authorities (this last one will have you second-guessing your choice of footwear, folks)
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Math Hysteria
October 27th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I’m no good with numbers.
They confuse me; they all look alike. Get them together in a crowd and I can’t tell the 6 from the 8, the 2 from the 7, the 5 from the 9. Probably I am a bigot. A number bigot.
I remember a moment of sheer panic in first grade when I realized I’d forgotten how to draw a 5. Try as I might, I couldn’t get it right. It was too short, somehow. I wanted to die. I just knew they were going to kick me out of school for such a display of stupidity. They probably should have. Directly over the chalkboard, running the circumference of the room, were all the letters and numbers …
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Too Little, Too Late
October 26th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I watched MTV with reasonable regularity for about 6 months in 1985/1986. Prior to that my family’s home didn’t have cable. After that I was no longer interested.
MTV seemed pretty exciting at first – rock and roll! – but I was already beginning to veer off pop music’s beaten (to a pulp) path so I’d have to sit through a large number of videos I wasn’t interested in to catch sight of one I was.
Yeah, that’s right: videos. Music videos. That’s just about all MTV used to show, if you can believe it. Endless hours of music videos interspersed with faux news. It was like a radio station. Wacky, eh? The “M” in MTV means “music”. The last time I checked in, they seem to have forgotten that …
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May I Take Your Order?
October 24th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Who thought ordering items off a menu by number was a good idea?
When I’m hungry, the last thing I want to be ordering is number two.
“May I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’d like a number two.”
“What would you like to drink with that.”
“Why, number one, of course … “
The whole idea is repulsive. Truly.
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Movie Wisdom #1 – Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
October 23rd, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I watched “Larry of Arabee” again for the first time in a number of years this weekend and was struck by a particular line:
“A man who tells lies … merely hides the truth
but a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it.”
Claude Rains as Mr. Dryden in Lawrence of Arabia
A Penny For Your Thoughts
October 22nd, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
It is difficult to say what the exact cause of random stupidity in young men is but a good, general suspect is boredom. More windows have been broken out of boredom than hate, revenge, or any other reason.
In the early 90’s, I was employed at a mall record store and was frequently confronted by the twin specters of my own boredom and stupidity.
Most of the time our store was active with browsing adults, shoplifting teenagers, whining children, and sarcastic employees but certain times – say around 10:30 am on a Wednesday during the off-season – contrasted sharply with this otherwise boisterous environment.
It was on such a morning that I reached a personal zenith in boredom related stupidity.
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Divine? Riiight …
October 21st, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Isn’t it interesting that, virtually everything proclaimed a “divine right” is, in fact, a moral wrong?
Bending Over Backwards
October 20th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
People say “He’s a nice guy. He’ll bend over backwards for you.”
Now, the funny thing about bending over backwards is that, unless you’re a gymnast, or a contortionist, some kind of a physical performer, there is absolutely no purpose to doing it.
Not only is it difficult to do, it is a useless act which leaves you incapable of the simplest forms of assistance, such as carrying a package or opening a door. What the hell can you hope to accomplish in such a position except mussing your hair and lifting your shirt without using your hands?
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Of Solpugids and Security Guards
October 18th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
cae posing as a Security Guard – 1989-1991
In the late 80’s and early 90’s, I worked as a security guard at the Loveland, Colorado Hewlett Packard plant.
A sprawling complex of assembly and R&D, the plant was plagued by random waves of climatically inappropriate creatures inadvertently shipped to it in crates and pallets from places all over North America and the world; it wasn’t uncommon to find a gecko on the wall -in winter.
One year we were infested with the strangest, scariest looking arachnid I’ve ever seen.
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"I Don’t Eat Baked Goods"
October 17th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Hell & Heaven
October 16th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I was recently commissioned to create a poster for some friends of mine who have an upcoming show at a local theatre.
Before and after:
The best part of this was turning the woman, Vickie – one of the nicer people I have ever had the pleasure to meet – into a demon.
If you’re in the area, be sure to check out the show:
an evening of songs and stories about the afterlife
November 1st, 7:30 pm at
The Key City Playhouse
419 Washington Street
Port Townsend, WA 98368
(360) 385-7396
Tickets available at Quimper Sound $10
Overheard Outside the Supermarket …
October 15th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Two young women standing over the pumpkins.
One asks the other: “Can you eat these?”
A Question of Creativity
October 14th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Chess, anyone?
October 13th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
