Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
May I Take Your Order?
October 24th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Who thought ordering items off a menu by number was a good idea?
When I’m hungry, the last thing I want to be ordering is number two.
“May I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’d like a number two.”
“What would you like to drink with that.”
“Why, number one, of course … “
The whole idea is repulsive. Truly.
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Bending Over Backwards
October 20th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
People say “He’s a nice guy. He’ll bend over backwards for you.”
Now, the funny thing about bending over backwards is that, unless you’re a gymnast, or a contortionist, some kind of a physical performer, there is absolutely no purpose to doing it.
Not only is it difficult to do, it is a useless act which leaves you incapable of the simplest forms of assistance, such as carrying a package or opening a door. What the hell can you hope to accomplish in such a position except mussing your hair and lifting your shirt without using your hands?
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"I Don’t Eat Baked Goods"
October 17th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Overheard Outside the Supermarket …
October 15th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Two young women standing over the pumpkins.
One asks the other: “Can you eat these?”
Today’s Vignettes
September 16th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
Remember to Forget
September 10th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
“Oh, dammit.”
“What’s the matter?”
“There’s something I was supposed to forget but I can’t remember what it was! Oh, wait, now I remember … dammit!”
Ralphie Style
August 30th, 2008 by Corey A. Edwards
I’ve got this cat named Ralph who enjoys doing hair. (actually he’s my daughter’s cat but, well, he seems to have adopted me, so … )
Whenever my ex-wife would step out of the shower, Ralph was there, ready to suck the water out of her tresses. He treats me much the same but, faced with my glossy pate, prefers to lick the moisture from the follicles on my legs.
Further, even without the added incentive of water, Ralph seems attracted to the hair of dolls, which he will gnaw and pull at repeatedly until, well, we all like to think of him as a frustrated stylist.
