Cancer, the Crab, is the fourth sign of the Zodiac (for those of you keeping score), representing deep feeling, protectiveness, and a juicy, tender flesh that’s absolutely heaven with butter.
Cancer is associated with highly personal emotions and the subconscious, explaining why so many people under this sign snivel in their sleep.
Though the Crab is protective and patient, it is a mistake to think of Cancerians as passive –and those big claws can really pinch!
A strong bond of empathy with another individual is far more important than logical reasoning to the Cancerian, and is why so many of them rely on their close friends to keep them from wandering into traffic.
Cancerians are often unusual people who are well aware of what sets them apart from others, such as a double-jointed spleen or an ability to say ‘abreast’ without snickering.
Their talent for non-verbal communication is often reflected in their home, with pictures of Elvis in velvet over the toilet expressing so well what many of us have felt for years.
For many Cancerians, all that is desired is quiet time with friends but, for some born under the sign, nothing will do but a periodic, public unveiling of their inner person, and the subsequent ride down to the police station. It is not appreciation or acceptance they crave but expression and release, preferably without bond.
Your Horoscope: Whatever you are about to do: STOP! Now, hold still. Look around slowly, cautiously, using just your eyes. There is a hairy spider on you – one of the jumping kind. Do you feel it? Is it on your neck? The back of your arm? In your hair? Is that tickling you feel it crawling up your leg? It’s there, I assure you: slowly creeping towards one of your body’s defenseless openings, all the while salivating at the prospect of working its way in, nibbling a bit, then laying its sticky eggs. No, really. I should know – I read your chart and it was VERY clear. It said “you will be totally freaked out by your horoscope today.”
Thanks, I’ve just marinated myself in DEET.
😉