this blog began as a section on my site called “Infinite Diarrhea” which I took down very shortly after starting it because … people were reading it. This, in turn, was causing problems in my already failing marriage …
Last week: a new book from Edward Gorey (Amphigorey Again) and a new CD from Frank Zappa (Trance Fusion). Thank god for the productivity of dead men.
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18 months or more now, out of the blue, a distant friend sent me an absolutely fabulous Japanese vinyl I coveted, with almost no hope of locating for purchase.
“Temporary-permanent loan” he said.
I wasn’t sure what he meant by this, only that I was overjoyed, somewhat taken aback, and in love with the toy.
Now, of a similar sudden, he has requested it back.
I do not begrudge him this request and, to a great degree, feel relief as I was never sure how or why I rated such an incredible favor and was, despite obvious opportunity to return the favor (I am in possession of a vinyl he covets greatly), never made any pains to repay him in kind. Still, at his reasonable and imminently just request, I feel pained.
Despite my inability to afford such silliness, I am now on a hunt for a replacement for the toy and even offered him a ridiculous sum for the one presently (but all too fleetingly) in my possession, an offer he correctly rejected.
So back it goes (with a treat for him – finally I have learned my lesson: the greatest favor is one returned in kind) and I am struck at how this one defeat (if one must look at it that way, and I strangely do) has me eyeing the whole wretched hobby of collecting the useless as just that: useless, empty, dead.
Do I sell it all and sit in an echoing chamber, or shall I await the day that I can continue to fill the space until nothing can be seen of me but wisps of thinning hair?
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Finally I am getting “my” room together – nearly all things vinyl are unpacked (records, toys – oh, joy) but there is a long way to go and the room -my life!- is still a jumble of unpacked boxes, many of which are full of things I no longer wish to own.
Oh, for a fire!
