New York City will attempt to ban any food that doesn’t fit inside a “fun-size” candy bar wrapper.
Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty will continue to expand his profile of pseudo importance as a spokesperson for the rights of the culturally narrow until his untimely death in a freak beard accident involving squirrels, chewing gum, and a tangle of bailing wire.
Colorado will complete an initial study on the effects of recreational marijuana sales but will be forced to admit, near the end of 2014 and around a mouthful of Skittles, that they lost the results somewhere behind the couch.
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