Capricorn, the Goat, is the eleventh sign of the Zodiac and represents a serious, mature outlook and an awareness of our relation to the universe, though, on the weekends, the sign spends much of its time downing beers and chasing sorority girls.
Capricorns tend towards the conservative but this does not hinder their forward drive as they motor on like dutiful lawnmowers, chewing through life’s yard and unexpectedly firing out the occasional rock.
Those born under this sign have an instinctive knowledge of power and how it works, easily gaining themselves a corner office and a key to the executive men’s washroom through a tireless campaign of intense brown-nosing and nasty, interoffice politics.
They’re not necessarily dictatorial, however, specializing instead in telling others how to do things and practicing how to perfectly intone the phrase “I told you so”.
Generally, Capricorns give the impression of having an impressive wealth of knowledge at their fingertips, despite the fact that the bulk of them couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Many astrologers say that Capricorn is the most difficult astrological sign to characterize, proving that astrologers are all just a bunch of hacks and snake-oil salesman after all.
Despite this, it is known that Capricorns do all seem to share a sense of fatalism, suspicion, a lack of flexibility and, most distastefully, chewing gum.
Your Horoscope:
You will impress people in conversations, especially if you start brushing, flossing and gargling a wee bit more often. No one likes their eyebrows melted off. Tremendous mental energy may now boost your ego – but where to find it? If unattached, you could be viewing the opposite sex with renewed interest (not to mention binoculars). If you’re attached, try using a solvent of some type or perhaps a crowbar. This could be a great day to start a new relationship!
