Ophiuchus, the 13th sign of the Zodiac, unlike the other 12 signs, is associated with a real person, Imhotep. Imhotep denies all knowledge of this, however, saying “Ophie *Who* chus?”
Imhotep, who lived in the 27th Century BCE in Ancient Egypt (actually, it was “New Egypt” at that time, but who’s counting?), was also known as ‘Aesclepius’ by the Ancient Greeks, because he didn’t want his exploits to get back to the folks at home. “What happens in Greece, stays in Greece” was his motto, though no one will *ever* forget that incident with the mule and the tub of rancid butter.
With a name that rhymes with “Opie Mucous,” this sign is not new, it’s old. So old that people forgot about it, or pretended it didn’t exist, or waited an overly long time to reintroduce it in order to demonstrate how ridiculous this whole Zodiac mess is. Something like that. This sign is also known as “Serpentarius” because, let’s face it, Ophiuchus is a pain in the ass to spell and most folks can’t read it.
In any case, the sign is a good mix of Scorpio and Sagittarius, in other words a half-horse, half-scorpion wielding a bow and arrow but disguised as a man wrassling a snake. Sexy, eh? Can you say Freudian?
Ophiuchans attract good luck, fruitful blessings, and lingering, sidelong glances that seem to indicate distaste. Holding lofty ideals well beyond the time their hands get all sweaty, Ophiuchans seek peace and harmony and can often be seen lifting couch cushions and going through other’s medicine cabinets in the pursuit.
Inventive in nature, folks of this sign tend towards higher education and wisdom, ending up as supervisors, managers, and petty bureaucrats. They can rise to a fame either grand or completely misunderstood, like the Elephant Man. They tend to enjoy longevity and have aspirations of healing ills, or at least getting you to suck on a breath mint: pee-yoo!
Ophiuchans reach for the stars, both figuratively and literally and many can be seen standing with arms outstretched to the heavens while begging passerby in a whiny voice to feed them or scratch their thigh: “just there; it’s driving me mad.”
Liking to wear clothing of vibrant colors, plaids in particular, they often receive the acclaim such choices provide, such as an award for style from the International Association of the Colorblind.
For many a large family is indicated and the number twelve holds great significance but whether this is IQ or shoe size no one can say for certain. A thread of secret enemies in family or close associations runs through their lives, which is actually better than those of us who have them screaming in our faces all the time.
While likely to be wise, even of genius stature, fame is often expected but does not come until after death, which has the overeager of them leaping to their deaths in hopes of good reviews.
Your Horoscope:
The conjunction of Venus and Pluto could regenerate a relationship, reignite a friendship, or cause a bright flash in the sky before the end of the our section of the galaxy. Know thyself – but not carnally. Now is the time to leap at opportunities and chuckle as they scurry for cover. Today is a good day to make mischief, magic, or little, gum sculptures.
