the author caught in the act by his wife, Elizabeth Edwards
I recently picked up a small, second hand tome on the limerick (“The Lure of the Limerick – An Uninhibited History” Baring-Gold) and found myself not only amused but inspired.
One morning soon thereafter, I was startled awake by ‘smealm,‘ a truly disturbing occurrence, I can assure you.
The bluer ‘rotini‘ followed with rapidity as I hunkered over the keyboard.
Then the bout of limericks subsided.
I experienced a period of lethargy and irreflection as the all-enveloping tide of The Holidays washed over the land, a thick trail of slime and glitter in its wake.
Today, on this vaunted and arbitrary eve, I remembered my hopes for a trio and began the hunt anew. I soon ran down not only naughty ‘Lenore‘ but also an unlooked for caution to the socially maladroit.
Pondering the fact that four is neither three nor five, and knowing that odd was the even I was after, I dug around until I found this outing’s final candidate: my take on the connected life.
Given the relative ease with which they seem to be able to be prised from me, I can only assume other, small knots of limericks* are to follow.
Until that time, I present to you the carefully titled:
Some Limericks
Sir Terrowin, brave knight of the realm,
is a little too fond of his helm
He stays in his panoply
as long as he canoply
and before he draws near you can smealm
A lad, served a dish of rotini
was shocked, something he’d never seeni
Pushing back his plate
said: “They might taste great
but look like a pile of pig’s weenies”
A wild young woman, Lenore
comported herself like a whore
She’s stretched out her sheath
so far past belief
on barstools her butt hits the floor
Beware you who ever endeavor
to interject what you think’s clever
We’ve heard it before
so many times o’er
It’s a social brick, not a lever
The internet is hard to explain
It can be good but I would refrain
Yes, it gives us a lot,
you can learn, meet, and shop,
but it seems to leave holes in the brain
*serving suggestion
