Pisces, the Fish, is the thirteenth and last of the Zodiac signs (phew!), representing the merging of the soul with the cosmos and symbolizing a deep belief in the highest powers of the universe, dude.
Swimming freely in the cosmic ocean, the twin fish represent fellowship, an ability to partake in the hidden mystery of things and slimy, writhing funkiness.
Pisces are not known for their practicality and those born under this sign are often considered dreamers or, more honestly, dunderheads; spacey wanderers who wave their fingers in the air and use words like ‘existential’ and ‘cosmos’ when speaking about anything they don’t understand.
Pisces are generally easy to catch, hitting almost any bait, and can be delicious when breaded and pan-fried.
Typically, Pisces are easy about sharing material possessions, particularly yours, and enjoy close partnerships more than most; often screwing their way back and forth across the continent.
Extreme sensitivity can make it difficult for a Pisces to have a social life and it isn’t uncommon to find them weeping uncontrollably in front of a particularly insensitive ATM machine.
Pisces are usually blessed with excellent memories, perhaps because of their impressionability, and, thus, will never let you live down a goddamned thing.
Your Horoscope:
Giant snails will appear on the horizon bearing butter dishes filled with creamed corn. The guy next to you will wink provocatively and then slip out of his skin, revealing organs and muscles made of pulled taffy and prismatic beetle wings. The air will be filled with an inescapable shrieking, like baby rabbits being slowly sliced open. This would be a great month to stop taking acid.
OMG – totally enjoyed reading about myself!!