Scorpio, the Scorpion, is the eighth sign of the Zodiac, representing defensive, far seeing power and creepy, scuttling behavior.
Scorpios have the ability to shun human contact and deal with serious matters in a purposeful fashion but aren’t above jello-wrestling with strangers, either.
Scorpios are often stern people and those who have dealt with them know that they are not easily ignored, especially when they wake you in the middle of the night with a jab in the ribs, demanding to know who ate the last Snickers bar.
No sign is as maligned as Scorpio and many born under it have been unfairly labeled as treacherous, underhanded and oversexed but then, more still have gotten away with their filthy, backstabbing wiles, may they rot in hell.
Generally, Scorpios are ever aware of the tragic seriousness of life and suffer not undue optimism, panaceas, superficial attitudes or other such silliness and can frequently be found in front of mirrors practicing their irritated glower.
Despite this dark side, Scorpios understand the ironies of life and typically have marvelous senses of humor, bursting into lighthearted chuckles during even the goriest of tragedies.
Scorpios must beware their tendencies toward self-destructiveness, controlling behavior, addictions of all sorts and are best kept in small, secure, plastic containers with a little water and a few crickets.
Your Horoscope:
Peep around corners with conviction; don’t be afraid to act frightened. If looking to buy a new car remember that the dealership accepts only real money – that Monopoly scrip you’ve been carrying around in your wallet won’t do. Romance is in the stars for Scorpios right now, which is a real bummer as most of them are down here without a means of interstellar conveyance. Save boxtops – you never know when you may need some extra filler for that casserole.
