Coreyshead - Looking at the World 1 Pixel at a Time

I’m lucky and I know it.

I was born in the late 60’s, in the US, to lower-middle class parents, and was raised in a neighborhood with a big waterfall. I had a great mom, we never went hungry, and I had access to education, medicine, and culture. In the areas where I lived, if you wanted a job, all you had to do was go out and get one – or that’s how it was for me from the late 80’s to the mid 00’s.

Recently, however, things have not been so good for me and, though I’m not a whiner, when people ask me how specific things are going, I don’t feel like sugar coating it for them.

The funny thing is the reaction I get from some people. There is an odd sense in this country that calling a spade a spade is either “bad luck” of some odd sort or an appalling and crass lack of appreciation.

As an example, I had an online acquaintance ask me why I was being mysterious about where I was working and I told her that, though I felt lucky to have it, I was embarrassed to be working at a job that, for all the skill, brains, and creativity it required, I could’ve gotten when I was 18.

She dressed me down for having a “pity parade” and noted that there were people all over the world who would give their eye teeth for said job.

I replied that, yes, she was right. Further, I could also have rectal cancer but the fact of the matter is I don’t, nor am I starving in Brazil. From my perspective, things could be better – and what the hell is wrong with my perspective all of a sudden? Why is it not worthy of being voiced?

If I am to take other’s perspectives to view my life, how about that of some business tycoon who regularly blows a couple hundred dollars on his afternoon tipple? Seeing my life from that station would have me flinging myself out the window of the nearest high rise to Pollack the innocent scenery below.

No, I think I’ll view things from where I’m at, thank you.

“You’re being negative.”

No. If I was negative I would have given up a long way back. I’m positive.

Positive that I am happier divorced than I ever was married and that this present phase of loneliness and celibacy will eventually pass.

Positive I can still remain a strong presence in my daughter’s life despite having lost custody of her due to the sexism inherent in our courts.

Positive I can make enough on the side to supplement the only job I could find – a part-time, minimum wage, blue collar position – after having watched a dream job melt out from beneath me in the heat of our present ill economy.

Positive that, if the borrowed vehicle I am presently using as a replacement to my own vehicle, which I cannot afford to repair, is suddenly taken back, I can make public transportation work.

Positive that having all of these challenges appear in one, six-month period is making me a stronger, sharper individual.

I’m also positive that, without dissatisfaction, I would simply sit back and let life roll over me. Dissatisfaction – not negativity but a healthy sense of wanting better than one’s got – is what motivates us to improve not only our lives but the lives of others. Satisfaction is for the dull of mind – and that aint me, sister.

So the next time someone answers your question of “How’s it going” with “not so good,” hear them out. Maybe they’re being whiny and maybe they’re just venting; tired but resolved. Suggesting that they’ve no right to feel anything but elation to have what they see as a plate full of shit before them, regardless of how right you may be, is as productive and accurate as your perception of their self-pity.

Tags: Complaining