{"id":853,"date":"2008-09-16T14:44:29","date_gmt":"2008-09-16T14:44:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/?p=853"},"modified":"2013-06-12T11:04:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T18:04:31","slug":"todays-vignettes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/","title":{"rendered":"Today’s Vignettes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246798855734797282\"<\/a>
\n
\nMe:<\/span> ” … it was absolutely terrible.”<\/p>\n

Him:<\/span> “What’s the difference between absolutely terrible and relatively terrible?”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Me:<\/span> “Well, relatively terrible is something that is being gauged on other experiences while absolutely terrible means there is no doubt or wiggle-room: the item in question is terrible no matter what you compare it to; its terribleness is absolute.”<\/p>\n

Him:<\/span> “Sounds like my first wife.”<\/p>\n

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-\n<\/div>\n

My thoughts are interrupted as I mount the sidewalk near my work. What is that sound?<\/p>\n

Someone hauling a plastic tarpaulin in through the window of a nearby brick building with a series of sharp tugs?<\/p>\n

The rasping chuff of a poorly maintained street-sweeper?<\/p>\n

Mutant thugs dragging an incapacitated robot into a darkened alleyway for some unknown, yet undoubtedly grim, and filthy purpose?<\/p>\n

I turn my head to look – 30 feet away a small, black, Scottish terrier is sneezing repeatedly.<\/p>\n

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-\n<\/div>\n

I’m walking down the sidewalk, a purple anodized, aluminum yo-yo shooting out and ahead of me from my right hand at regular intervals.<\/p>\n

A passing woman stops to stare at me, a smile breaking across her face. “I haven’t seen a yo-yo in years” she exclaims.<\/p>\n

“Is that nice?” I ask.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me: ” … it was absolutely terrible.” Him: “What’s the difference between absolutely terrible and relatively terrible?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nToday's Vignettes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Today's Vignettes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Me: ” … it was absolutely terrible.” Him: “What’s the difference between absolutely terrible and relatively terrible?”\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"coreyshead\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coreyaedwards\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Corey A. Edwards\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Corey A. Edwards\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Corey A. Edwards\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479\"},\"headline\":\"Today’s Vignettes\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":252,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/\",\"name\":\"Today's Vignettes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2008\\\/09\\\/16\\\/todays-vignettes\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg\",\"width\":\"301\",\"height\":\"320\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/\",\"name\":\"coreyshead\",\"description\":\"Just another fist-full of lips on the weekend.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479\",\"name\":\"Corey A. Edwards\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Corey A. Edwards\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/coreyaedwards\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/author\\\/cae\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Today's Vignettes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Today's Vignettes","og_description":"Me: ” … it was absolutely terrible.” Him: “What’s the difference between absolutely terrible and relatively terrible?”","og_url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/","og_site_name":"coreyshead","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coreyaedwards","article_published_time":"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Corey A. Edwards","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Corey A. Edwards","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/"},"author":{"name":"Corey A. Edwards","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479"},"headline":"Today’s Vignettes","datePublished":"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00","dateModified":"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/"},"wordCount":252,"commentCount":2,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg","articleSection":["Humor"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/","url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/","name":"Today's Vignettes","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg","datePublished":"2008-09-16T14:44:29+00:00","dateModified":"2013-06-12T18:04:31+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/16\/todays-vignettes\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/unrepentant_space_21.jpg","width":"301","height":"320"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/","name":"coreyshead","description":"Just another fist-full of lips on the weekend.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1db586e2b6698eb23d62b4e881ee2479","name":"Corey A. Edwards","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/99aab955427dc38942c6aec34ce90e34633a92a4d52ecca088caa198d5146222?s=96&d=blank&r=pg","caption":"Corey A. Edwards"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/coreyshead.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coreyaedwards"],"url":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/author\/cae\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=853"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6555,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/853\/revisions\/6555"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}