{"id":81,"date":"2009-01-08T21:06:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-09T05:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/?p=81"},"modified":"2013-06-12T11:32:12","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T18:32:12","slug":"what-can-you-do-half-a-week-with-emily-spilgravy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/08\/what-can-you-do-half-a-week-with-emily-spilgravy\/","title":{"rendered":"What Can You Do? (half a week with Emily Spilgravy)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thursday, Oct. 3, 4 o\u2019clock pm<\/span>
No matter what we do, every year dad gets a little older. Ronnie took him round to hospital to see about the condition but they couldn\u2019t help. Said it had something to do with the passage of time and his age. Despite what amounts to a rather hasty pronouncement, if you ask me, we\u2019ve tried a number of experimental pills, powders, injections, suppositories, and salves, but they only make dad nauseous, sneezy, tender, squirmy, and greasy. It\u2019s sad, really. We just celebrated his 79th and he could barely stay awake long enough to finish baking the cake. We had to eat it without him. What can you do?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Friday, Oct. 4, 11 o\u2019clock am<\/span>
Was talking with Geraldine over the back fence today when I accidentally let slip my idea about crisp glue. I\u2019m always rather distressed about the end of the packet where there is nothing but the little crumbly bits that slick up one\u2019s fingers so and are utterly defenseless against the dip. I\u2019ve long thought that a simple paste of some kind would do wonders to stick the crisps back together and, not thinking, said so. Geraldine\u2019s eyes lit right up at the mention and I could see she was thinking she could nip the idea for herself and win a patent before I thought to try on my own. More fool me but what can you do?<\/p>\n

Saturday, Oct. 5, 2 o\u2019clock pm<\/span>
Thought I\u2019d pop round to Juebee\u2019s for lunch today and they still don\u2019t have the type of sandwich I like, though I\u2019ve asked and asked. The young man behind the counter was actually quite rude about it and I ended up having to give him a lecture about his attitude – that and his incredibly filthy hands. What\u2019s so hard about getting a little meat, cheese, and bread I asked him? Marjorie says it\u2019s because they\u2019re a tyre shop and not a luncheon counter but I say if you\u2019re going to offer tea and doughnuts in your lobby then you ought to have sandwiches as well and how about chips? Oh, well. What can you do? <\/p>\n

Sunday, Oct. 7, 5 o\u2019clock pm<\/span>
The weatherman said to expect rain today but of course there wasn\u2019t any, the fool \u2013 the post doesn\u2019t run on Sundays! Then there’s the phone with its endless ringing. Ring, ring, ring, morning, noon, and night! It’s enough to drive a person mad. Martin says I should just answer the thing and be done with it but I ask you, what kind of a question does a bell pose? Martin says I\u2019m being silly but, then, he always says that, and him breaking his teeth on bottles all the time. I\u2019ve told him the opening\u2019s at the other end but he\u2019s just so persistent, gnawing away at the punt. What can you do?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thursday, Oct. 3, 4 o\u2019clock pmNo matter what we do, every year dad gets a little older. Ronnie took him round to hospital to see about the condition but they couldn\u2019t help. Said it had something to do with the passage of time and his age. Despite what amounts to a rather hasty pronouncement, if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[638,637,636],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-absurdity","tag-inanity","tag-silliness"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Can You Do? 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