{"id":20,"date":"2008-10-28T16:40:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-28T16:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/?p=20"},"modified":"2013-06-12T11:44:08","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T18:44:08","slug":"highs-and-lows-a-momentary-slip-into-the-personal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/28\/highs-and-lows-a-momentary-slip-into-the-personal\/","title":{"rendered":"Highs and Lows – a momentary slip into the personal"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My life is such a jumble these days – so insane.<\/p>\n

Learning the ropes of single parenthood
\nPersonal rediscovery
\nLegal skirmishes with a loved-one turned enemy
\nFinancial insecurity
\nCareer frustrations
\nThe seemingly endless scrutiny of custody-related authorities (this last one will have you second-guessing your choice of footwear, folks)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The ability to point myself where I wish to point, to no longer have to pretend to be something or someone I’m not, is incredibly liberating but …<\/p>\n

When the doors were locked and the windows barred, I somehow felt more in control. Now that the sky is the limit – well, let’s just say I’m feeling a little smaller than the sky.<\/p>\n

And what about this loneliness. Yes, it is better than the loneliness of empty cohabitation but only just.<\/p>\n

I’ve always preferred my own company because I can fill these hours, oh yes, I have numerous pitchers slopping over just right here – and what a joy to pour them out! – but sometimes I wonder, despite my best efforts, if it is not that I prefer solitude but have simply become a pro at preferring it – for the alternative is to succumb to one distasteful eventuality or another:<\/p>\n

A relationship of suffocating concessions
\nor
\nA spiraling sense of general alienation<\/p>\n

Were that I was not
\nin such a small town
\nfilled with so many people
\nwhom I do not relate to
\nand yet
\nwhere else would I go
\nthat would not find
\nme there?
\nGood thing
\nthese episodes
\npass
\nso quickly
\n(phew!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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