blow<\/span> lots of money on new digs and all that will be required to make said new digs habitable.<\/p>\nI am learning that finding a two-bedroom house to rent in this area, at a rate I can afford, is not an easy thing. They’re all either too expensive or too run down (or already rented).<\/p>\n
Access to my daughter, pets, personal belongings, and free-time on the internet is limited.<\/p>\n
For all intents and purposes, the “I” which I have been for over a decade has ceased to be.<\/p>\n
The good thing is that this is just a temporary precursor to the kind of life I have been dreaming of living for over ten years.<\/p>\n
The bad thing is that this temporary precursor seems interminable and has me feeling (and arguably looking) like a combination loser\/criminal – though I am neither.<\/p>\n
I am saving a lot of money but in a way that makes me beholden to the kindness of others. I appreciate this kindness but find myself squirming in shame and discomfort. It’s not lost sense of pride so much as one of independence (but I’m a man so, yeah, pride is in there, too).<\/p>\n
In the eight days since this situation manifested itself (let me mention that I intentionally instigated it, though I cannot say I fully thought out the potential backlash) I have been sorely tempted on numerous occasions to treat myself in some way – a movie, an ice-cream, a cd, a drink or three at a bar, a nice meal at a restaurant, upgrade my old cell-phone; what the hey, I’m saving the money and I’m down, right? – but have thus far managed to resist. The closest instance being when I drove up to the local convenience store a couple of hot afternoons ago, in a pity-party mood, with the intention of getting an ice-cream sandwich.<\/p>\n
I never got out or even stopped my vehicle.<\/p>\n
I nosed into a parking space, thought of you, me, TNY<\/span>, and threw it into reverse.<\/p>\nOn the other hand, via social obligations, I’ve had plenty of beer. Probably an average of one a day since the 3rd of this month, and I’ve bought some of it as a thank you to those who have been so kind as to offer me said, to put me up or afford me the kindness of their ear.<\/p>\n
One does not properly appreciate friends, family, even the kindness of strangers, until one needs to lean fully upon them.<\/p>\n
Uncomfortable as I am to find myself in need of such support, I am grateful to have reached out in the dark and found not just one but numerous hands there, willing to take mine. I only hope I am able to successfully express how grateful I am for their support, how deeply I hope I can someday pay them back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(this post is part of an aborted 1 year experiment in material abstinence I called The Necessary Year) Good grief – how the worm has turned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[206],"tags":[205,122,95],"class_list":["post-1328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-necessary-year","tag-conservation","tag-divorce","tag-materialism"],"yoast_head":"\n
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