{"id":115,"date":"2009-05-06T16:54:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-06T23:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/?p=115"},"modified":"2014-02-14T09:31:47","modified_gmt":"2014-02-14T17:31:47","slug":"from-the-notebooks-of-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/06\/from-the-notebooks-of-5\/","title":{"rendered":"From the Notebooks of &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/the_bugs1.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 195px;\" src=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/the_bugs.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\"id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332763389107110242\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold;\">The Bugs<\/span><\/p>\n<p>In the morning,<br \/>when I am barely awake:<br \/>the bugs,<br \/>the bugs.<br \/>Oh, they crawl on me and I am happy.<!--more--><br \/>What I would not do<br \/>to always have them<br \/>crawling,<br \/>crawling,<br \/>crawling<br \/>on me.<br \/>If I try hard<br \/>I can still feel their icky, little feet<br \/>scampering across my cool skin;<br \/>over my scalp,<br \/>up my back,<br \/>skitter and scatter,<br \/>nostril and crack.<br \/>To feel their subtle, tickling scratches &#8230;<br \/>Would you like to know this sensation?<br \/>They want to know you!<br \/>Not for just a little while<br \/>but always.<br \/>Forever.<br \/>To crawl over your body,<br \/>to discover,<br \/>to come to know<br \/>all of your body&#8217;s secret nooks.<br \/>To work their way into the warmth<br \/>of your dark and waxy hollows.<br \/>It would be a heavenly bliss for them.<br \/>Heavenly.<br \/>Will you say &#8216;Yes?&#8217;<br \/>Oh,<br \/>please say yes!<br \/>They are hungry for the feel of your skin<br \/>under their filthy, chitinous feet.<br \/>Their hunger is palpable.<br \/>Can you feel it?<br \/>Can you smell it?<br \/>Taste it?<br \/>I can.<br \/>It is driving me mad!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-style:italic;\">(This little chunk of insanity was conceived the year my daughter received a program that allowed one to type words onto the screen and hear them read back to you via a variety of voice simulators. The deadpan, robotic delivery was delightfully off-putting. I wish I could play you the recording.)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Bugs In the morning,when I am barely awake:the bugs,the bugs.Oh, they crawl on me and I am happy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[489,490,187],"class_list":["post-115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-bugs","tag-insanity","tag-notebook"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>From the Notebooks of ...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/06\/from-the-notebooks-of-5\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"From the Notebooks of ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Bugs In the morning,when I am barely awake:the bugs,the bugs.Oh, they crawl on me and I am happy.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/06\/from-the-notebooks-of-5\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"coreyshead\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coreyaedwards\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-05-06T23:54:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-14T17:31:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/coreyshead.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/the_bugs.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Corey A. Edwards\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Corey A. Edwards\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/05\\\/06\\\/from-the-notebooks-of-5\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/coreyshead.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/05\\\/06\\\/from-the-notebooks-of-5\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Corey A. 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