Some say they were born under a bad sign
Sometimes there is just a bad seed
When them Edwards boys come a-sniffin’ around
I tell you now, you better pay heed
I heard they stole some Matchbox from the Woolworths
Some Abba-Zabbas from the Alco
They took a whole damn register from Ben Frank’s
It just grew legs and walked out the door
Y’gotta nail it down
If ya want it
Y’got t’nail it down
Nail it down
If it’s valuable
And you wanna keep it around
Y’gotta nail it down
If ya see them Edwards boys
Somewhere in town
They’re the 5-finger discount twins
Y’gotta nail it down
Well it’s tempting to think you misplaced it
‘Cause it seems like it was only just here
But the truth ain’t that funny
When what’s missing’s worth money
An heirloom that is precious and dear
You can try buryin’ things in your backyard
Or squirrel ’em away in th’ shed
But even if it’s under
your pillow of slumber
They’ll slip it out from under your head!
Y’gotta nail it down
If ya want it
Y’gotta nail it down
Nail it down
If you need it
And you wanna keep it around
Y’gotta nail it down
If ya see them nasty boys
A-sneakin’ around
They’re the 5-finger discount twins
Y’gotta nail it down
They say the youngest one has a pocket
That lets him carry up to ton
The older boy is meaner and cagier
Let’s hope they never steal a gun!
Well, their parents are baffled and embarrassed
The schools have lost all hope
The sheriff says things should calm down soon
He says they’re bound to take up smokin’ dope
You know, he really
hopes they take up smokin’ dope
‘Til then y’nail it down
If ya want it
Y’gotta nail it down
Nail it down
If it’s nifty
And you wanna keep it around
Y’gotta nail it down
Down down down down
Oh, someone bring me a hammer!
They’re the 5-finger discount twins
They’re the light-fingered louie klepto twins
They’re the 5-finger discount twins
Y’gotta nail it down!
cae 8/30/2016(orig)
