# # Highs and Lows - a momentary slip into the personal

Brother, I Can See Your Skull.

Brother, I Can See Your Skull. - The Coreyshead Blog

Highs and Lows – a momentary slip into the personal

My life is such a jumble these days – so insane.

Learning the ropes of single parenthood
Personal rediscovery
Legal skirmishes with a loved-one turned enemy
Financial insecurity
Career frustrations
The seemingly endless scrutiny of custody-related authorities (this last one will have you second-guessing your choice of footwear, folks)

The ability to point myself where I wish to point, to no longer have to pretend to be something or someone I’m not, is incredibly liberating but …

When the doors were locked and the windows barred, I somehow felt more in control. Now that the sky is the limit – well, let’s just say I’m feeling a little smaller than the sky.

And what about this loneliness. Yes, it is better than the loneliness of empty cohabitation but only just.

I’ve always preferred my own company because I can fill these hours, oh yes, I have numerous pitchers slopping over just right here – and what a joy to pour them out! – but sometimes I wonder, despite my best efforts, if it is not that I prefer solitude but have simply become a pro at preferring it – for the alternative is to succumb to one distasteful eventuality or another:

A relationship of suffocating concessions
A spiraling sense of general alienation

Were that I was not
in such a small town
filled with so many people
whom I do not relate to
and yet
where else would I go
that would not find
me there?
Good thing
these episodes
so quickly

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2 Responses to “Highs and Lows – a momentary slip into the personal”

  1. matney says:

    Your picture looks like A Scanner Darkly. I can symythize with the “no company” but hey if you are feeling miserable, you know it loves company and you can always give me a call. : )

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